22 January 2006

The Beast that is Malaise

People are often plagued by the terrible juxtaposition of their abilities and desire to do something and the seemingly frequent result of nothing actually materializing. It's not because we are weak or cowards or even jerks, as I have often thought myself to be and continue to do so. Rather, there is a less salient factor at work which binds us inimitably to inaction, which, at the very core of this morass is a moral, social and spiritual poison as deadly as any we use to kill insects and protect our luscious corn fields.
Why is this such a deadly poison? Because not only can we not see it, taste it or touch it, we can't even name it. We don't know what it is or why it is, but we certainly see and feel its designs. Twice as deadly is the tendency of this poison to be able to kill in more than one way. Left alone, it will wither the soul. Realized and brought into the light, it causes frustration, anxiety, suffocation and the madness of inescapability.
The tragedy of it though, is that it is a prison for your mind, not your actual life. I'm reminded of Revolution Number 9 – you say that it's the institution, well, you know, why don't you free your mind instead. Yeah, right, think outside the box. When you're in the box, you can't realize being out of it, 'the box' is the set of rules which define the game, or life as the situation may be. This is the insidious waste of time to me. What will make me happy is something I can't define, and if life is just more of this, which is how I perceive it to be... I don't know. And, that's the problem. Uncertainty is like a wet blanket, trapping you, cutting off your air. To make it worse, there's a beast chasing you - time. Time bites at you with regret and claws at you with loss. Realization is the greatest pain God ever inflicted upon man. It is far more destructive to our health and well being than any other force which governs us.
Not even the desire for smoothie comes close, and as all men know, many have lost much in that struggle.

13 Comments:

Blogger Michelle, the moon rabbit said...

Community consensus is what the poisen is called. When you become aware that everything you know is a lie, you can seek out truth. Deny the reality of what you view is life now and become aware that reality is only another word for dream. We can all become Masters of our own dreams by starving the poisen of community consensus.

Malaise is another form of submission. Do not submit regardless how hopeless it all may seem nor how pointless the entire situation may be deemed. You have the ability to control the outcome. Control it, Master is, and starve the poisen.

*This community message brought to you in part by our sponsers inside Just me's head.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Malach the Merciless said...

I like Malaise on my BLTS

5:23 PM  
Blogger Mr. Tooserious said...

I simply find that beyond consensus is status quo, a most troubling and difficult beast with which to contend. While the individual may resist, the status quo never seems to change, mainly because people will or do not lift a (expletive) finger to change anything. Everyone wants a leader to show them the way, but nobody wants to do anything to help her or him along. They will stand by you so long as it's convenient, but as soon as you're on the hill with that cross in front of you baby, you ain't got no friends left.

Worse are the people who have become slugs, doing nothing and being unhappy about it. They want a leader who'll do it all for them, but they repay it with ignominy, disgrace, backstabbing, shaming and betrayal. They don't want to do anything so much as have you do it for them. What's frighteningly insidious about this is that these people are often the closest to you.

Bitterness aside, I've found in my mainly desultory life that you can't count on anyone but yourself. Maybe gummi bears too. They're pretty good.

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