The Sadness Report

As the three regular readers of this blog know, I don't post often enough, and frequently neglect mine creation. And so, in conjunction with the boot of life that often uses its pointy heel to moosh my testicles (which, don't get me wrong can be a very erotic experience, but only literally, not when used figuratively), I have decided that this is going to be my final entry. My life, that is to say the real one I have a tenuous grip on at best, has recently taken a turn where I will be building it up from scratch. In an impulse provoked in part by now lost love, I left my lucrative health care job and lost my apartment and possess few of the once vast resources at my disposal. I will continue to post on occasion, but this will be at hill-tv.com rather than here. Though I will not go into the details of the sad details and doubting of my own worth that has my desire to create at an all time low, take heart in the knowlege that LOM will continue, just elsewhere. Perhaps in the future I will update on a regular basis, but that won't be for some time, and it's not fair to keep people hanging on because I'm too much of a turd to buck up and keep going. However, since I started this serial, I will give the shortened version of the end of the Doppleganger story so that we may all have closure: The doppleganger continued on and off to be a miserable bane in my life, teasing and provoking me. He would show up at the mall, throwing stuff at me from the balconies, make fart marks in cake frosting at my friend's birthday parties for which I would be blamed and running up my phone bill with 900 number calls, which he'd have forwarded to my mother. One day, I could stands no more and asked him what his problem was and what he wanted. He basically told me he was after "the sonic jewel", whose powers he needed to suck away manually with his mouth. It bothered me because this was my private name for my, well... privates. Astounded and disgusted by the fact that my own reflection was insisting it wanted to suck me off, I demanded to know from whence he came and why such powers were bothering to interfere in the life of an otherwise normal and upstanding citizen. What he told me really "let my bird out of the cage" as the saying goes. Apparently, having caused a space-time rift with the completely indecent act I committed, I inadvertently exposed a deep truth about the condition of humanity and he was sent as the servant of higher powers as the consequence of that action. It was learned that day that the deepest desire of all people was to have a profound homosexual experience with themselves. This doesn't mean that all people are inherently homosexual, just that given the chance, most people wonder what it would be like to be fucked by themselves. Even if they won't admit it, it's true, and I guess it would be "profound" because who would know better what you like than yourself? How can I fix this? I asked him, and so, he told me. I think you know what he said, and though I didn't agree with it, the fact that the rift is contained and everything is alright speaks for itself. What a life this is, so full of wonder and socially awkward paranormal phenomenon... Well, I hope you have enjoyed, but for now, I must away. Thank you for your kind attention to an obviously disordered mind and I shall be back in the future, but for now I bid adieu. "There is a destiny which shapes our ends, rough-hew though it may be"